Saga of St George and the Magnetic Dragon

St. George wasn't the sharpest spear in the King's Court. In fact, he was considered something of an idiot. This was primarily because he considered a dragon his best friend. Which was not exactly looked upon as proper back in the medieval days of knights and castles. The dragon's name was Perceval. And as far as dragons go, he wasn't a bad sort. He never intentionally scorched anyone. Only when he ate onions. They always gave him heart burn which resulted in scorching belches. Perceval's biggest problem was his magnetic attraction. Early in life he gorged himself on tasty lode stones which turned out to be magnetized. And the power never left him. No knight, while dressed in armor, dared come within ten feet of Perceval. To do so brought them within range of Perceval's magnetic power, causing them to be swept up and locked against his rib cage. Not only was this terribly embarrassing but it required five strong men to pry the knight free. St. George avoided the problem by going around in his long underwear. Which was another reason people thought he was missing something upstairs. Missing an upstairs. However, he knew what he was doing. He was very fond of his dragon but didn't want to become too attached to him.

One sunny afternoon, St. George in his long underwear and Perceval, doing his best to stifle a flaming belch caused by eating a hamburger with onions, were wandering through a meadow. Suddenly they heard a trumpet blast at the edge of the woods and the king appeared, dressed in a shirt of metal mail. He was limping badly and it was obvious he had fallen off his horse again. He did this quite regularly. At least several times a month. No one paid much attention to St. George and preferred to ignore Perceval. In fact, the King's entourage was so busy trying to impress His Majesty with their sympathies that they paid little attention to anything else. Despite St. George's warnings, they came directly toward Perceval. Before anyone could react, the King's armored shirt, together with the King, swept across the meadow and became attached to the dragon's rib cage. Pandemonium reined . No one knew what to do. I mean here was their King plastered against the side of a dragon in a most un-royal and undignified position.

Read the exciting conclusion of why the King refused to be rescued and Perceval received a medal of high honor.

 

Saga of St. George & the Dragon continued

Finally, someone thought to call for the King's strongmen. At least that was their intention until the King yelled out, "Anyone who tries to pry me loose from this dragon will lose their head. For the first time since forever, I am totally free from pain. I feel wonderful. I fully intend to remain attached to this dragon for at least an hour. Of course the King's word is law. So all the people could do was suggest that St. George lead his dragon back to the castle until the King requested that they be parted. When the King was finally pried loose he felt so good he ordered a dance to be held that night in honor of St. George and his dragon. The only stipulation being that St. George had to wear something besides his long underwear. The King even danced that night, he felt so good. And he honored St. George by placing a huge medal around his neck, naming him a knight of the square table. Not quite so prestigious as being a knight of the round table but St. George was excessively pleased. That is until he walked over to show the medal to Perceval. Suddenly the medal, along with St. George, flew up against Perceval's rib cage. In fact, the force was so great that St. George would have been strangled by the medal's rope around his neck if a quick thinking guard hadn't drawn his sword and cut it in two. Finally, when all the commotion settled, people looked at the medal and decided that it looked rather nice on Perceval. And after all, he was the one who really deserved it. So the King decreed that Perceval should wear the medal and also appointed him a member of his medical staff. Which throughly annoyed all the King's wizards and doctors. But from that day on, anytime the King experienced pain, he would put on his armored shirt and attach himself to Perceval's rib cage for an hour or so. And that is how magnetic therapy originated. -------------- Aren't you glad that magnetic therapy is available to you without having to attach yourself to a dragon? Simply select one or several of Dragon Stone's exceptional dragon-quality magnetic products and you too can feel like a king.

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The Princess and the Pea

 

It was one of those loose days for St. George. Even his best friend, Perceval, who happened to be a dragon, seemed a bit out of sorts.

St. George was lazily picking loose nails, broken spear tips and various pieces of metal off Perceval’s body. It was a never ending chore because the dragon was magnetically charged. This occurred in his youth after eating his fill of lode stones that turned out to be magnetized. And from that day on, anything metal was attracted to Perceval like pigs to a trough. .

By afternoon, both St. George and Perceval were ready for a romp. As usual St. George was dressed in long johns. With a friend like Perceval, regular clothing didn’t cut it. Belt buckles, buttons, swords, armor...anything metal ended up clinging to the dragon along with the wearer. And St. George preferred to avoid that sort of attachment to his friend.

Shortly after entering the deep woods, St. George stopped. "Did you hear that, Perceval?"

But Perceval wasn’t paying any attention. He was still feeling out of sorts and breathing fire on a nearby shrub.

"It sounds like someone crying. Quiet...and stop fire-hosing that bush."

St. George listened again. Yes, it was definitely someone sobbing. And it sounded like a young maiden in distress.

Moving quickly toward the source of the crying, he came upon a beautiful young girl sitting on a log with her face buried in her hands. Her entire body was shaking with unhappiness.

St. George immediately noticed she was a princess. For one thing, she was wearing a crown. And for another, the word ‘Princess’ was spelled out on the crown in tiny diamonds.

"Why do you weep, fair maiden?" St. George asked.

Startled, the Princess looked up. "Oh...I didn’t know anyone was around. Where did you come from? Do you sleep here in the woods?"

"Oh no," St. George replied. "My dragon friend and I live in Tongue n’ Cheek. Why do you ask?"

"Well...from the way you’re dressed, I thought you might have just gotten out of bed. Perhaps you don’t realize it but you’re wearing your underwear."

"Yes...well this seems to work best when I’m romping with Perceval. But tell me, why are you so sad?"

"Tomorrow, I go to visit Prince Marcel in the next kingdom. We have loved each other for many years but his mother feels I am not good enough for him. She thinks he should seek the hand of a princess from a larger kingdom.

"I just know she’s going to try and put me to some sort of test that I won’t be able to pass. Then she will try to convince her son that it would be a mistake to marry me."

St. George thought for a moment. "I might have just the thing for you. Meet me here in the woods tomorrow before you leave for Prince Marcel’s kingdom. I will have a magical gift for you."

"Will you wear some clothes?" the Princess asked, giving a pointed look at St. George’s long johns. I mean it wouldn’t be proper for me to be seen here in the woods with a young man dressed in his underwear."

"I shall wear a cape," St. George conceded.

The next day St. George returned to the woods with Perceval. As promised, he wore a full-length cape over his long johns. The Princess arrived a short time later.

"What is this gift you have for me?" she asked, still a little suspicious of a knight romping about with a dragon.

"I have this silver bracelet," St. George replied, holding out a stylish link piece of jewelry toward the Princess.

"Oh, its lovely!" she exclaimed. "But I can’t accept such a beautiful gift from you. I mean, I hardly know you."

"Oh, but you must. You see, my dragon friend has a wonderful magnetic power that makes you feel alive and so on top of everything. Some of his power has been built into this bracelet. When you wear it, you will feel so alert that someone like the Queen will have a very hard time tricking you with a silly test."

And so the Princess allowed St. George to slip the bracelet onto her wrist.

"But I don’t feel anything," the Princess complained, after a few moments.

"Just keep it wearing it. You’ll soon notice a difference."

NOT QUITE THE END

Read the rest of the exciting story of the Princess and the Pea. Find out how the wicked Queen tried to trick the Princess into looking like less than a 100% princess.

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However, it wasn’t until the Princess came within sight of Prince Marcel’s castle that she began to sense Perceval’s magic. Suddenly the grass looked greener, the sky appeared bluer and the sweaty horse she was riding smelled sweatier.

She and the Prince spent a marvelous afternoon together. But she was so sensitive to all that was going on around her that she was even more convinced the Queen was planning something devious.

But it was bedtime before she discovered what it was. Putting on a false smile, the Queen said to the Princess, "I had five mattresses put on your bed. If you’re the delicate princess some say you are, I know that any little thing might disturb your sleep."

When she walked into her bedchamber, sure enough there was her bed piled high with five mattresses. But her mind was so alert that she instantly sensed something was wrong.

She recalled the words of the Queen about not wanting any little thing disturb her sleep. After giving it a moment’s thought, she put her hand under the bottom mattress. There it was. The little thing that was supposed to disturb her sleep. A pea.

The Princess replaced the pea, climbed up on top of the mattresses and quickly fell into a deep undisturbed sleep.

The next morning, the Queen and the Prince were in the hall when the Princess came out. "And how did you sleep, my dear?" the Queen said with a malicious smile. "I hope nothing disturbed you."

"Well, to be quite honest, I didn’t sleep a wink. There seemed to be a huge lump in the mattress." This was not a lie, you understand. Princesses do not lie. She didn’t sleep a wink. She slept a thousand winks...and then some.

Before the Queen could stop him, the Prince went into the bedchamber and began searching around under the bottom mattress. He quickly discovered the pea. "Here’s your lump." He turned to his mother and held it out to her. "You have to admit she has to be 100% princess to feel something this small through five mattresses."

The Queen simply nodded and with a loud snort marched off down the hall.

Later that morning, the King announced that his son and the Princess would be married within a fortnight. However, the Princess, still very much alert to all that was going on around her, noticed the Queen mouthing the words, "Not if I can help it."

But then, that’s another story. You won’t want to miss the marriage of the Princess and the Queen’s second attempt at sabotage.
THE END

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You can also own this authentic copy of the Princess bracelet for a mere $12. Wear it everyday and be alert to all that’s going on around you. You’ll feel so good that all those pea size lumps you encounter during the day won’t ever disturb your sleep.

The Wicked Queen and Her Hang-up with a Dragon

 

It was a beautiful day for an outside wedding.

St.George, a knight of the square table, was dressed in his finest clothes. Ordinarily he wore only long johns. This was because belt buckles, metal buttons, swords and anything else made of metal was attracted to the hide of his pet dragon, Perceval.

As a youngster, the dragon had eaten a hearty meal of magnetic lode stones and since then was a source of strong magnetic power.

St. George had done his best to look elegant. And well he should. He had saved the Princess from the schemes of the wicked Queen, who was Prince’s mother. In doing so, the three of them, St. George, the Princess and Perceval had become special friends.

Everyone at the wedding looked happy...except for Perceval. He had been banished to a meadow to avoid attracting any armor-clad knights. He could still see the festivities but it was obvious he would have preferred to be closer.

Several days prior to the wedding, the Princess had confided to St. George that she was certain the Queen was going to do something to try and stop the ceremony. But she was ready. The beautiful magnetic bracelet St. George had given the Princess so energized her senses that it would be difficult for the Queen to pull any of her trickery.

But St. George wasn’t satisfied. "Tomorrow morning, meet me out here in the meadow. I’ll have a gift for you to give the Queen."

"Why should I give her a gift? She has acted perfectly horrible through this whole courtship."

"Now, Princess, where is your kindness? Haven’t you received some wonderful benefits from wearing the bracelet Perceval magnetized for you. Don’t you feel more alive, sleep better and have an overall sense of well-being?"

"Well...yes. I do. But what does that have to do with me giving the Queen a gift."

"Wouldn’t you like to share these benefits by giving the Queen some magnetized jewelry of her own?" And with that St. George gave her slow and meaningful wink.

The Princess still didn’t understand but she trusted St. George so agreed to meet him in the meadow the following morning.

The next morning St. George presented her with a package. "Does the Queen like jewelry?"

"Oh my yes. She always has bangles and beads dripping all over her body."

"Then she’ll love this gift from you. Just tell her it’s a small token of your feelings toward her and a way of saying thank you for all she has done. It won’t be a lie, believe me."

"What’s in here?" the Princess asked.

"There’s a bracelet for each wrist. Bracelets for both ankles. Rings for her fingers. Even a stunning necklace. She will love them.

"However, every item has been supercharged with Perceval’s magnetic powers. If she comes within shouting range, she’ll find herself swept up against Perceval’s body where she’ll remain locked to his skin until a small army is able to pry her loose."

"You have some mischief in mind, don’t you?" the Princess grinned.

"Only if the Queen misbehaves In other words, if there’s any mischief , she’ll be the one to start it. But Perceval will finish it."

Still not fully understanding what St. George had in mind, she took the box and returned to the castle.

Before putting on her wedding dress, she went looking for the Queen. The Princess found her pacing back and forth in her bed chamber, muttering to herself.

Obviously annoyed at being interrupted, particularly by the Princess, she barked, "Well...what is it?"

"I just came to give you this gift," the Princess nervously replied.

Before the Princess could deliver the words St. George had given her, The Queen grabbed the box and tore it open. Her eyes took on a sparkle and she almost smiled as she looked at her gift. Greedily she removed each piece of jewelry and put them on. When she was done, her wrist and ankles were decorated with bracelets. Her fingers were filled with magnetic rings. And she even had eight necklaces piled around her neck.

When she was finished, she inspected herself in the mirror and muttered, "How nice." Then she turned to the Princess and said, "Thank you. Now, if you will please excuse me."

The Princess thought no more about it as the hours ahead were spent in frantic activity to get ready for the wedding ceremony. And then came the final hour.

Outside, flags were flying. Trumpets blasted. People mingled. It was all festive and gay.

When it became time for the ceremony, people scrambled for a seat underneath a huge tent. Everyone except the Queen. She stood back in the shadows of the castle, playing with her new jewelry and ignoring everyone.
The Princess and her father entered from in back of the tent. The air was filled with mutterings of delight at the beauty of the bride. Everyone was captivated by her loveliness. All except for the Queen, of course. She remained aloof and continued playing with her jewelry.

Everything proceeded as planned until the priest asked, "Does anyone know of any reason why this man and woman should not be joined in Holy matrimony?"

With that, the Queen shouted out, "Yes I most certainly do. This girl pretends to be a 100% princess. But would a real princess cavort about with a dragon? I suggest to you that she would not. A witch might but never a true princess."

All eyes were on the Queen as she stepped out of the shadows and walked briskly into the meadow toward Perceval. "You see there," she said, pointing at the dragon. "There is her dragon. Bold as life itself. Is that the kind of princess you want in this kingdom who might someday be Queen? I suggest that this wedding end right now before it is too late."

At a signal from St. George, Perceval started walking toward the Queen. The Queen paid no attention as she moved further out into the meadow, shouting back at the wedding crowd.

Suddenly she stopped and a strange look wiped the scowl off her face. She seemed to be battling some invisible force that was compelling her to continue walking forward. And then she was air borne. Flying across the meadow until she slammed into Perceval’s rib cage.

No one moved. They simply stared at the Queen hanging on the dragon with her face buried against his green skin. She tried to move but the jewelry on her wrists, ankles, fingers and neck only permitted the movement of her head.

With great effort, the Queen forced her head around so she could look up at Perceval.
"You miserable excuse for an animal, let me loose immediately or I’ll have your hide hung on the castle door. You hear me you ugly mythical hunk of green hide. I’m the Queen and I demand that you release me right now."

St. George noticed a red tinge creeping up Perceval’s neck and he knew the Queen had just talked herself into some serious mischief. Perceval had lost his temper.

Turning his head back toward her he let out a quick burst of flame which totally incinerated the back of her dress, including her underwear. She was left bare naked and mooning the wedding crowd.

No one knew what to do until the King started laughing. "Looks like my Queen has become very attached to your dragon St. George. Well...may they live happily ever after. Now, let’s get back to the wedding ceremony."

Everyone joined in the King’s laughter and turned back to the Princess and Prince standing at the altar. This was not too surprising being that the Queen was probably the most disliked person in the entire kingdom.

The only person to object was the Queen’s sister, who was disliked almost as much as the Queen. "You can’t possibly continue the wedding ceremony without the Queen," she shouted.

The King gave her a wry smile. "But can’t you see that she’s hung up? We’ll just have to get along without her."

And so the Princess and Prince were married and lived happily ever after.

The Queen was eventually pried loose. But she was far too angry and embarrassed to face anyone in the kingdom. She immediately ran into the castle, packed her belongings and fled. No one ever knew where or bothered to ask. But she never returned.

And the King also lived happily ever after.

 

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